2021 Update:  My Hearing Voices Experience

It was early in March 2020 when I was walking through Mullumbimby NSW, and something caught my eye.  It was a poster in a window with a very simplistic message: “Hearing Voices?,  call (phone number)."

Having perpetually been in a mode of sharing the Mind-Player concept, I immediately thought that this was an opportunity.  I quickly memorised the phone number and called it when I arrived home later that afternoon.  When the phone was answered, the individual simply said: “Hello, Buttery, how may I help you?”

Locals around here know what the Buttery is, but for those who might not know, the Buttery is a local mental health, alcohol, drug and gambling rehab centre.  None-the-less, I was not deterred; I introduced myself, gave my details, and was told that someone would be calling me.

The return call was not forthcoming immediately, but it finally came towards the end of April.  I ended up talking to two individuals, and was ultimately offered an invitation to join the “Hearing Voices” group.  I accepted.

The group had only been started a month or so before, and it was then going through some major adjustments due to the arrival of the global Covid 19 pandemic.  The first attendees of the group met together at least a few times before they were forced to meet virtually through the Zoom technology on the internet.  And I first attended a Zoom meeting mid May 2020.  As it turned out, there were people in attendance who had many different types of experiences ranging from hearing, and sometimes being haunted by, audible voices, seeing colours when hearing different notes (synesthesia), having visions, and the list goes on – including myself who senses inaudible thought communications between me and 20 other fully autonomous entities who I call Mind Players.  I sensed that I had discovered the exit door in a world made up with what is generally referred to as “normal” people and an entrance door into a world made up of people who had the total freedom to have extraordinary experiences that were “normal” to them.  This is what I would call the familiarisation period where many of us were introduced to each other and became familiar with each other’s experiences.

The zoom meetings continued to be bi-monthly on Zoom until mid July 2020.  Then we finally got to meet together at an outdoor physical location in Brunswick Heads NSW.  Everyone in attendance was much happier to be together (especially outdoors) rather than fit into a small square on a Zoom screen.  These bi-monthly meetings continued through to the beginning of October when we all decided to change to a physical meeting once a month.  It was at this meeting when I shared a significant Mind Player experience that I had.  I explained that my Observer had observed that many members of the group had some really serious issues, and my Devil’s Advocate questioned whether this group was the right one for me.  Everyone in the group, including the two facilitators, insisted on giving me some feedback.  Without exception, each individual explained that they, too, also questioned whether or not this was the right group for them; and they also stated that they wanted to stay with the group and that they wanted me to stay with the group as well.  

During the meeting in November 2020 I was asked if my Spirit Being had a different personality of his own – apart from the personalities of my separate 20 Mind Players.  I know that I answered this question on the Mind-Player web site; and it basically says that the “personality” of my Spirit Being is an amalgamation of all my Mind Players.  However, at the time I felt uncomfortable with the answer I gave.

During the meeting in December 2020 I explained that I wanted to revisit the answer I had given the month before.  I said that after I left the last meeting I discovered that my Perfectionist was not happy with the answer I had given about the “personality” of my Spirit Being; and he said that I could do much better.  I then explained that I found myself mysteriously and intuitively drawn to Eckhart Tolle.  Hence, I went to the Youtube site and did a “Hearing Voices” search through the many presentations given by Eckhart Tolle over the years. I found six of them, and I listened to them all.

I was happy to report that I found what I was looking for.  As it turns out, Eckhart Tolle talked at length about the “voices” or “chatter” in one’s head and said that these voices were the “faces” of one's self, but not the essence of the Spirit Being.  He went on to further explain that the Spirit Being was pure awareness.  

I then felt the need to clarify to the group that the word “personality” originates from the Latin word “persona” which actually means a “mask”.  So, in my case, each of my Mind Players is a separate personality, or mask, that when combined, create an overall new mask for only my vessel, or body – in order to present itself to the world.  That’s when it became very clear to me that my Spirit Being has no mask at all since my Spirit Being is only pure awareness.  It then became quite clear to me that my Mind Players, with all of their masks, help me expand my pure awareness, and I don’t need their help to retrieve what has already been added to my pure awareness.  That’s probably why I felt that being drawn to Eckhart Tolle was a “mysterious and intuitive” process.

At that time I felt that I had finally answered the question properly: my Spirit Being had no “personality” of his own.  However, I then felt the need to further address the issue of “pure awareness”.  I explained that I, my Spirit Being, found a way to move into pure awareness and shut out all influence and/or interference from my Mind Players.  I said that I only had to focus on the “ride of my life”.  At that time I saw some puzzled looks on a few faces.  One of the facilitators shared that he was confused by my use of the word “ride” and asked for some clarification.  

I took a deep breath, and then began to draw a mental picture of what I meant by the “ride of my life”.  I asked them to visualise the Earth circling the sun; and then be aware that together, along with the rest of the Milky Way galaxy, they are traveling through the Universe at a speed of about 2 million kilometres per hour.  This puts the Earth in a spiral trajectory though space while circling the sun.

I then said that from a distance this trajectory of Earth would look like a straight line.  And with my two hands in the air I demonstrated with one hand that there is one point on that line that marks the day I was born; and with the other hand another point, to be announced, that marks the day when I will die.  I continued to explain that between those two points is a short straight line, and that this is the line that represents the “ride of my life”.  When focused on that, I am in true and totally pure awareness.  I guess, from that perspective, everything else is too small to be either seen or heard.

Up until this time, this was the most in-depth and personal experience that I shared with the group.